The World is Flat

My little cousin Alexis has sent me a visitor -- Flat Stanley. He'll be staying at my house for a while before he has to go back home. Already, we've seen and done so much! Just a few days ago, Flat Stanley saw a dolphin for the very first time at SeaWorld. He couldn't believe that I see them playing in the river near my house.

He liked the dolphins so much, he wanted to swim with them. I insisted he, at least, take off his shoes and tie, but that Stanley is so silly. He just dived on in!

Sci-Fi + Horror = APEX

Yep, the two do mix, as proven by the quarterly print known as Apex Digest.

Just so happens, they are having a subscription drive this month.

If you like horror and you like sci-fi, you've got to check it out. It's quality stuff, with mainstream contributors and rising authors. And no, and I don't mean zombie authors that have "risen from the dead", though with Apex, you never know.

"Indigestion" for FREE

For anyone who missed out getting a copy of my first published short story, "Indigestion", here's your chance...

Jim Stitzel is giving away a copy of Apex Digest #6 on WEDNESDAY (Nov 7th). What's the big deal? Well, this issue has been sold out for over a year and is now extremely hard to find. All you have to do is leave a comment on Jim's blog post.

Of course, while you're at it, you can mention how much you like that Robby Sparks guy :)

You are Making me Very Angry

For Halloween, I dressed up as Marvin the Martian from Looney Tunes. Who knew that wearing tights over your head was so breathable?

Now if I can only find my P-32 Space Modulator...

Roll out the Red Carpet

My short film for the Films Under Five competition won!!!

The film entitled, "Playing With Fire", will be shown as part of the Melbourne Independent Film Festival (MIFF) VIP festivities!

Here is a complete list of films to be shown, as well as special guests.

I'm a "Hall of Famer" -- Again!!!!

Yep, the results are in for the second Answers.com Creative Writing Challenge, and I won an Honorable Mention again!!! Yes, a link to this very blog is still located on the Answers.com Creative Writing Hall of Fame page!

Here is a link to the blog entry that is my story, entitled...
"THE GREATEST DISH EVER".

In case you missed it, the details for the Creative Writing Challenge was to write a creative & original submission that is less than 750 words and includes each of the following ten words or phrases with hyperlinks to the Answers.com entry for each one. The words for this particular challenge were:

• horripilation
• opus
• agog
• simian
• abscond
• fug
• Kew Gardens
• gazpacho
• fifth-colum
• salad days

That's a Wrap!

In case you're wondering, I did get the film done in five days...and it was under five minutes long (by 2 whole seconds)! I'm very happy with the final product. The film is called "Playing With Fire". It's about four guys playing poker when something unexpected happens. That's all I'm spilling for now.

Currently, I'm awaiting to hear back from the judging. Hopefully, the film will be chosen to be shown at the local Independent Film Festival next month! I think it has a very good chance.

The Director's Chair

I did it. I entered the "Films Under Five" film making competition.

Tagline:
Can you complete a film five minutes long or less? Sounds easy. What if we added random plot elements, locations, and characters? Still sounds easy? What if you only had 5 days to write, rehearse, shoot, record, score, edit and submit your film?

It started last night at 7PM. It ends this Sunday at 7PM.

18 hours have passed. 102 remain.

What have I done?

Meeting the Challenge

Once again, I am entering the Answers.com Creative Writing Challenge. They give you a list of 10 words, and your goal is to write a story (that's less than 750 words) using them. It's just too much fun!

Check out the details of the challenge: http://www.answers.com/main/writing_challenge.jsp

Then read my story below :)

Answers.com Creative Writing Challenge #2

THE GREATEST DISH EVER

“You are the worst cook I’ve ever seen!” the burly chef growled, poking his fat finger dead-center into Squeaky’s sternum. The other chefs sniggered in agreement.

Squeaky dropped his head and rubbed the sore spot on his chest. It was true, he wasn’t a good cook. After several years of working in the South London restaurant, the only dish he could prepare without somehow screwing it up was the gazpacho, and lucky for him, it was always on the menu. Whenever he tried to expand his culinary horizons to another dish (as with, this time, the bananas flambé) something went wrong (as in an entire table and a patron’s hairpiece going up in smoke).

“Someday, I’ll make something great,” he murmured to himself. “And everyone will love it. They’ll love me, too.” He resumed the mundane ritual of chopping vegetables for the soup. That’s where his masterpiece would have to start, he thought. With the soup. The head chef wouldn’t let him near anything else, especially after this latest mishap.

“I’ll change it up,” he decided. “Make it better. But I’ll need a special ingredient. Something to give it some zing. Some pizzazz. A kick. But what?”

He thought and he mulled, but nothing came to mind. It wasn’t until he was on his way home, riding the Tube, that he overheard a passenger marveling over the rare and exotic plants at Kew Gardens.

“Of course!” Squeaky cried. “That’s where I need to go!”

And there he went. Sneaking around like some fifth-column operative among the greenhouses, he stumbled upon the most beautiful shrub he’d ever seen. Not even in his salad days, working as a delivery boy for the village florist, had he noticed anything quite like it. Taking heed that no one would notice, he hastily plucked the plant bare, stuffing his pockets full with its tingly, orange leaves. He then absconded to his run-down flat, where he worked tirelessly for days, trying to perfect the “new, improved” soup. He stopped for nothing. Not even sleep. Soon, with a fug of herbs and spices filling the room, he had a dish that he found both unique and wonderful.

“It will be my masterpiece,” he avowed, his bristly face and untamed hair making him look simian. Beating his chest, like so, he threw his arms into the air and squealed, “It will be my magnum opus!”

Two days later, the restaurant where Squeaky worked was chosen to be the primary caterer for a royal banquet. All of the London elite would be there, even the Queen herself. Squeaky knew this would be his chance to make it big.

The night came, and Squeaky showed up with his bag of leaves. At his apartment, however, he had only made one bowl of the soup. Now, he had to brew a kettle that would serve over three hundred! With mathematics not being his strongest suit, he guessed on how much of the new ingredient to add – figuring more was better – and ended up using it all. But before he had a chance to taste his creation, it was delved out and served to the royal guests.

From the wings, Squeaky watched agog. His body tingled with horripilation as the Queen delicately brought a spoonful of the soup up to her mouth and sipped it in. She patted her lips together repeatedly, carefully studying the flavor. Then, her eyes grew large. Her jaw dropped. And a moment later, she was up on the table screeching at the top of her lungs, howling like a monkey and flailing her arms around like she was King of the Jungle instead of the Queen of England. For all intents and purposes, she might as well had been, for everyone else in the room was doing the same – jumping up and down, picking through each others’ hair, and throwing food. Even the prime minister, and older fellow who usually required the assistance of a cane, was seen swinging from a crystal chandelier! The entire room had went from elegant to primeval in a matter of seconds – all after eating the “new” soup.

Later – when things were back to normal – the Queen claimed the soup was “the greatest dish ever!” That it had made her feel “twenty years younger!” She wanted to award the chef who made it with the high honor of knighthood. Unfortunately, Sir Squeaky had fled in shame. His face would never be seen again. The secret to his soup – lost forever.

THE END

Raffle It Off

Apex Digest is having a raffle with lots of cool sci-fi/horror stuff -- like autographed books and original manuscripts from some big names. A few of the editors/authors are even raffling off in-depth short story critiques, which are invaluable.

Check it out: http://www.apexdigest.com/apexraffle.shtml

Manatee Adventure

While kayaking a few weeks ago, we ran upon a friendly group of manatee. This one came right up to the boat! I think it may have been a distraction so that his buddy could turn us over, but it apparently didn't go as planned.

Cutting Film

The short film, "The Door of Apex", is hot and heavy into the editing stages. Video is being pieced together. Sound editing will soon follow. I might even try for an original score, so watch out John Williams! But I'm betting his job is safe :)

If you haven't seen the trailer yet, here's your chance.

And special thanks to a miniature schnauzer named "Gauss" for inspiring this "Video-in-Text" (please visit his blog at http://gausspontificates.blogspot.com/).

Without him, you -- the viewer -- would have to settle for a link to YouTube (which I provided below in a previous blog anyway). Which leaves us with this question:

How many mouse clicks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Fastest Man in Clay County?

I don't know about that, but I did win this year's annual "Clay County Days 5K Race", held back in my hometown of Manchester, KY. I also finished with the best 5K time I've ever run -- 16:58. I hadn't participated in this race since 1998, but always wanted to try it again.

I'm a "Hall of Famer"!!!

The results are in for the first Answers.com Creative Writing Challenge, and I won an Honorable Mention!!! Yes, a link to this very blog is now located on the Answers.com Creative Writing Hall of Fame page! They even gave me a cool "Badge of Honor" that you will notice over in the right hand column.

Here is a link to the blog entry that is my story, entitled...
"A DARKER SHADE OF GREEN"

In case you missed it, the details for the Creative Writing Challenge was to write a creative & original submission that is less than 750 words and includes each of the following ten words or phrases with hyperlinks to the Answers.com entry for each one. The words for this particular challenge were:

• quixotic
• for all intents and purposes
• melissophobia
• yo-yo
• perfunctory
• brown recluse spider
• abrogate
• Belize
• ubiquitous
• quid pro quo

Got "INDIGESTION"??? --Sci-Fi Short Story

Last year, my short story, "Indigestion", was published in Issue #6 of Apex Digest (a horror/sci-fi magazine). Not only did the story have the honor of sharing pages with sci-fi great Ben Bova, but it was also chosen as one of eight tales included in the Best of Apex: 2006 Special Issue!

"Indigestion" details the efforts of Hardin, a man trapped on a futuristic colony of Earth, as he attempts to escape from his mundane life of servitude using a unique plan. Here is one of the many great reviews the story received:

"For an author’s first published piece of fiction, Robby Sparks has made ‘Indigestion’ the absolute stand out of this collection. Funny, serious – and with surprising plot-twists and pre-planned overtures, I found myself wanting more even though its length exceeds the rest. Here, earth is ruled by callous alien superiors and one fragile human named Hardin has had enough. With alien delegates having names like ‘Girobian’ (one gets the feeling of delicious caricatures resembling Star-Trek aliens of the sixties), and toilet happenings that take on a scientific edge – Indigestion will leave you frazzled but pumped. It’s an electrifying tale and I hope to see more of Robby’s work soon."
-- From Horrorscope: Austrailan Dark Fiction Web Log

Unlike the magazine itself, which is available online and at most major bookstores, this special edition is only be available from the Apex website: (http://apexdigest.myshopify.com/products/best-of-apex-digest-2006).

If you do decide to order a copy, please be sure to tell the editor that you're interested in the Robby Sparks fiction, and that, for once, you really look forward to having INDIGESTION!!!! :)

Teaser for "The Door of Apex"

Here's a teaser for one of my video projects that's currently in production. It's a short film for "Apex Digest", a great horror and sci-fi magazine you should subscribe to ;)

Check out the teaser:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6yr5uF2C1E

Answers.com Creative Writing Challenge

A DARKER SHADE OF GREEN

“Go Green,” they said. “Save the Earth!” Now, watching the fire, I wonder, who is going to save me?

It all started with my quixotic attempt to reduce automobile emissions. Refusing to buy a bicycle, like a normal conservationist, I decided to purchase a hang glider instead. I mean, why go around traffic when you can go over it, especially if your home and workplace are located at proper elevations? For all intents and purposes, it was a good idea, until an unforeseen incident occurred. While I was blissfully soaring over aggravated masses on the expressway, picturing them as rats trapped in their gas-guzzling cages, the wind suddenly gusted from the North, blowing my rig smack dab into a swarm of angry killer bees. Having an extreme case of melissophobia, I panicked and must have blacked out, for the next thing I knew, my hang-glider had crashed into some trees. Still attached by an emergency leash, I dangled helplessly like an unstrung yo-yo several feet above the ground. As luck would have it, the strap broke, and I plunged face-down onto the forest floor. Aching all over, I gingerly peered up to find I was not alone. Surrounding me was what appeared to be an entire village of scantily clad aborigines. I provided only perfunctory glances upon rising, as not to startle the savages in any way that might provoke them to stick me with their barbaric, yet sharply pointed staffs.

A voice barked, “Da-Be-Doo!”, causing the crowd to part as someone very different from the natives approached – someone much like me! It was a bearded man, wearing a ragged Hawaiian shirt and tan khakis chopped off at the knees, all the while sporting an eyesore of a headdress made from clumps of Spanish moss with four twigs sticking out from each side. Along with the violin-shaped emblem painted down the center of his brow, he looked as if he had a giant brown recluse spider for a skull.

“Ah-Be-Wah-Be.” Click. Click. “Boosh!” he exclaimed and apparently awaited my reply.

Confused, I gave none.

The man rolled his eyes and sighed before speaking in perfect English. “It means, state your purpose for invading these sacred grounds of the Wa-Ki-Kui tribe or be eaten.” Then, placing his hand aside his mouth, he whispered, “Although you may be eaten, regardless.”

I stammered, “Oh, I see…well…it’s sort of a strange story really, but I’m an environmentalist, and I crashed here because I thought hang-gliding would save the world.”

The man smiled from ear to ear. “Ah! We are brothers then, for I, too, have chosen to abrogate all connections with the energy wasting mongers of civilized society.” He pointed to his loin-clothed clan. “And these chaps – they are true naturalists. They live for the earth and the earth lives for them!”

By the animal bones protruding from their nasal cavities and other parts of their exposed bodies, I dared not disagree.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“Belize, my friend. The garden of good and evil and everything in between.”

“I see. Would there happen to be a phone in the garden?”

The man laughed hysterically, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “You are quite the character, my flying friend. Quite the character. Though a phone may be a ubiquitous commodity where you’re from, it is quite the contrary out here in the mist of pure, unbridled wilderness. However,” he pulled me to the side, “I happen to know where one is. The problem is that my faithful flock would prefer I not leave. They are a fragile following who need the comfort of leadership at all times. But do not fret,” he expressed, shoving his finger into the air. “Since I happen to know my way around the forest, I propose an exchange – quid pro quo – where I go and find help for you while you don my fantastic hat and guide these poor hooligans until my glorious return. Sounds good, no?”

Before I could respond, the man had already transferred the mossy monstrosity from his head to mine and, facing the natives with outstretched arms, had begun to decree, “Ooo-pee, Doo-pee, Wa-Wa.” Click. Clock. “Doh!” He then burst into a sprint, disappearing into the thick foliage while whooping gleefully about margaritas and bubble baths. His voice faded as the ring of natives tightened around me, forcing me to where I sit now – on a bamboo throne, watching a fire being built in my honor.

Or so I think.

THE END